We were driving today – to the city about 20 miles away – to do grocery shopping. (The driving adds to my guilt too…) I was feeling so much emotion about all the death and dying of innocent animals and plants and insects – due to human-caused imbalances in nature. I keep seeing and reading and hearing about all the changes: the drought here, an article about the drying up of the Colorado River, the disappearance of bees, the huge increase in beetle-killed trees in the NW San Luis Valley in Colorado last year, scary health problems with GMO foods. It seems endless! Some part of me was/is feeling that I’m being punished – that’s it’s my fault. I know rationally that I haven’t caused all these problems. I even recited to myself part of the poem “Desiderata”: “You are a child of the Universe, as much as the trees and the stars. You have a right to be here.” But, actually I don’t feel that I have a right to be here. I feel that somehow I should be fixing “things”. How??? And, how much “fixing” would ever be enough?

Many “spiritual” people write that the most important thing that any one of us can do is become more spiritually evolved. That perhaps if enough of us do, there will be a sort of “hundreth monkey” effect. Then human culture will change so that we realize that we are one with everything else and that we must live in balance with the Earth itself and all the other living and non-living things on the Earth. Is that possible? Or, are we getting so close to the “collapse” of our mother planet that no amount of “fixing” will help? It’s so difficult to become more aware and not give in to despair.

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